Dr. Kristen Hodges, Ph.D.

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I’m a psychologist. And I have a child with special needs. Once upon a time, I wasn’t in this club. And then the one day I was driving my 4-year-old to the first day of school while he threw shoes at my head and screamed, “I HATE YOU.” After a trip to Wal-Mart to buy every pair of socks on the rack, I managed to pull him off me and drop in the doorway of a very concerned looking pre-K teacher.

I sat in my car and sobbed. I called my mom because I just needed to hear her say that I’m not a terrible mom. Then, I drove to meet a friend for breakfast, and I cried the entire time.  Other moms filled the restaurant – seemingly happy to drop their little ones off to teachers. My tears caught their attention and these other mommies side-eyed me while offering sympathetic smiles. I’m sure they figured I was sad about my baby growing up.  I needed the smiles. I needed the encouraging looks. But these moms had no ideas of the pain I was feeling. My tears didn’t reflect sadness of my baby growing up. My tears reflected my fears. My concerns. My sense of failure. The worry that my baby wouldn’t grow up to be successful in life.

After that first day of school, I just needed something to change. Anything. I felt desperate. The summer of 2020 just ended - months at home with a child who kicked me, spit at me, punched holes in the wall, and told me he hated me almost every day. I felt really desperate. So, the next day, I called every single child psychologist wiling to answer the phone. One changed my life.

She spent maybe 15 minutes on the phone with me. With just a few questions, she calmed my fears of believing that my son was completely unmanageable by suggesting the root cause as sensory issues.

She changed my life. And his.

Honestly, I didn’t see the diagnosis coming. My sweet, blonde haired, big brown-eyed boy seemed to meet all developmental milestones. Although he did crawl backwards and potty-training was challenging. He also refused baby food – not eating solid foods until he could pick the food up himself. He seemed a normal but challenging child. Hard-headedness runs in my family – so I just figured this was par for the course. 

I never spoke with her again because she could not take new clients as she moved 2 weeks later to Italy to work at the Air Force base. I jokingly asked her to stay in Florida. Okay, I wasn’t joking. But she impacted my life and the life of my son in a way that I’ll never be able to truly express to her. I’m eternally grateful.

Since I can’t thank her, I thought I’d pay her wisdom forward. I learned a lot since our conversation, but she sent me on the right path. I hope this site helps you as much as she helped me.

xoxo

Dr. Kristen Hodges, Ph.D.